The difference of a day

Isn't it amazing the difference a day can make?

Before I knew God

I was up and then down, way up, way down

now I can receive a crushing blow

and I just become quiet and contemplative.

It still hurts bad

but there is no drama

not in the worldly sense

only the weight of the truth of it

only the solid gold bar weight of that truth.

Honor goes really deep

it is a lesson I am learning as I push through life

it is amazing how huge integrity is

how elusive it can be

and how fast we can slip up

If I was an animal,

and that conveyed how I feel right now

I would be a mouse

because a mouse only makes a sound if you step on it

and my big eyes would be the only thing to convey to you my feelings

and maybe my whiskers would twitch,

or they would lie flat maybe

if I was feeling sad

If I was a mouse I would feel vulnerable

being so small

but God would draw attention to my strengths

like running fast

and slipping into small cracks to escape

and being sustained by the smallest bits of food

He would remind me that that is how He designed me

for a distinct purpose

with specific strengths and weaknesses

all of which that He can and will use for His glory

all of which He will mold and shape me with

with circumstance and experience

and he would let me know that He delighted in me

in my mousiness and all the glorious ways I added joy to His life

with my teeny weeny existence

He would remind me that no matter how small

I make an amazing difference.

~C