Tuesday, August 24

Grandma Milby

Thinking about you
and collecting memories
like fireflies
and putting them in my heart
instead of a jar
to keep for always
the memories of you

famous for your biscuits and gravy breakfast
establishing a "Milby tradition" before I was ever on the scene
first time I had ever eaten it
you had to explain what lard was
and nothing compares since

I can hear you laughing
telling me "Christie, you're such a good sport Honey"
when Charles drives me back from the snipe hunt

or swinging on the porch with me
A night at the cabin
so black we can not see each other
so I concentrate on your accent
on your story-telling
I can hear your voice in my head even now

no one can say"Bless your heart"
without me thinking of you

I love how God put such a feisty spirit
in such a faithful body
I love the contrast of you

I adopted you for my own Grandma
blessed by you, long before I was officially family
and you were so easy to love
so encouraging and sweet to me

I will miss having you here
I will miss seeing you look up
to your grand sons
and watching them tease you
and then give you hugs

and seeing you hold Grandpas hand

and loving your boys

witnessing your awesome love of God.

there are so many little things...
that will keep you alive in my memory

and like fireflies in a jar
your life will go on twinkling
and fascinating me.


Thursday, August 19

heart of the matter

heart on my sleeve
I am sad
now I am happy
but it is no indication
of my true heart
that beats within my chest
that is fueled by spirit
thats rhythm calls your name
that is fueled by the blood
that you shed
so I could really live


peace dweller

where do you spend your time
where do you dwell
where do you tie up your energy
do you ponder His goodness
do you wonder in awe
at the blessings He's given
at the awesomeness of it all?
or do you mull over the misfortune
and doubt why you are here
do you curse your existence
and face life in fear?
invest your time wisely
fight for your rest
and take your time finding
out what He meant for your best!
time is fleeting
power is in prayer
and lost in wandering
hold fast to the optimism
He planted in your heart
hold tight to the promises
as if they were some kind of chart
that will take you
transcend you
through space and time
to a place where you can handle anything
because of your perspective of mind!


compassion glasses

You are being ugly
saying things
you may later wish you could retract
and I could let you hurt me
let scars form from your lack of tact
but I won't
and I will choose to put on my compassion glasses
so I can see the "hurt you" inside the "mean you"
the hurting within
that lashes out and wants to infect
I can see past all of that
deep deep down
where your wound is festering
where it does not heal
because you do not let it
maybe you don't know how
so I see into that place
and I pray for you
I see past the harshness of you
into the wounds of you
so I can pray for you
and I am not offended
just thankful that I can see you
as God intended


Sunday, August 8

Reel me back in

that hurt
that thing you said
and I went into my room
and climbed into bed
and I cried in my pillow
and I boo-hooed
all sad
but then before too long
out to confront
the lie before it grew
I went out to talk to you
and you listened
you apologized
you hugged me with a sorry
and it was resolved
before it ever
got too out of hand
God you have such a way
of reeling me back in



My relationship with you
like that sweater
that hugs me nicely
that suits my taste
keeps me warm too
but then....

I notice it is itchy
probably 10% wool
but suddenly it feels like 50% fast
and no matter how good it seems
I have to take it off
and I cannot justify
all those other things....

God's voice overrides
the temporary pleasures
that we find in the places
we were not meant to stay in