Sunday, January 8

False Advertising

The world
Full of it
and even so
It will be sold
and even then
you will choose to resale THAT
recycled lies
that manipulate and blind
bought and sold
stolen from and closed
down, down down
it goes
the spiral of habit
of indulgence disguised as distinguished
and obsession mistaken for control
we call these things good
and they trick us even more
keep up with the Jonses
and you all fall down
You were meant to take your lead
from the man with the crown.

~C

God is the Beach

God is the beach
washed up treasures for you to discover
each day
each day new treasures
His blessings never ending
so don't walk the streets of the city
and shout your echoed cries into the buildings
declaring He gives you nothing
He needs you to meet Him at the beach
to seek and find Him
the sand is His mercy
The waves are His word
the shells His offering
His promises in the sunsetting over the water
Every color a love letter
Each day a new scene
different waves
different shells
different people
different weather
but always there
never stopping
all of it a gift for you
an endless timeless gift for you
open to everyone
Meet Him...Find Him
He is there.

~C

Thursday, January 5

God's Best

Feeling forgotten...
when there are so many signs to point to how significant you are
Seeing red...
when the very thing you find offensive comes from not letting go of what is festering
Waiting and waiting...
when the moment is now to live,to love,to reach out & find your whole life is what was waiting to unfold
Grumbling & complaining...
when there is so much to be thankful for
Worrying...
when there is no point because it only steals from you
Debating in your mind...
when the truth is you have very little control
Striving...
when really you are perfect now, just the way you are, even doing nothing
Hiding...
when there is nothing more freeing than putting your cards on the table
Running...
when all God wants is for you to stop and take His hand and walk and talk with Him
So you can begin....
Seeing
Forgiving
Encouraging
Having compassion
Comforting
Giving
Loving
Being
Living

~C

Finding Balance

I was in a funk the other day
It didn't feel like I wanted to cry but like my body did. Like I had this heavy damp coat on
that I couldn't shrug off. There is insight to this too, because it was a clue to tell me my issue was literally WITH my body, and I think that is why my mind was having trouble discerning what was wrong.

I laid in bed in the dark and asked God to reveal what was going on. 
and then it came to me....An old wound with strings coming out of it, attached to different aspects of my life concerning the same issue. Working out-connected to a feeling of conditional love-connected to a subconscious stubbornness-connected to a false feeling of control-That makes me a stubborn mule with my hooves dug into the ground. "I am not budging....the more you want it, the more I am not going there. " is what I might as well have said.

A subconscious link to acceptance-tied to rejection-tied to body weight, or image....
If love is not unconditional, it is conditional and conditional love hinges upon your ability to deliver, and if you cannot deliver, then you won't be loved, and around and around it goes.

But I don't want to ride that Merry-Go Round, so I plant my feet and being stubborn, think that I have fooled the process, and yet like reverse psychology the devil is getting me to do exactly what he wants. He is stealing from my life either way. 
To be stubborn and hold back from working out steals from me, my health, my comfort, my confidence, my energy....he convinced me that by standing still I would deny the conditional love from stealing from me, when really I am denying myself health and prosperity concerning my own body.

Physical Idols are everywhere and if your priority is to your body above all else....well then, as an example, you build a case to convince me (through your actions) that I do not want to be like you. 
I see this red flag waving that boldly declares a warning : Do not be like him, this person who puts body before anything, this person that is so consumed! 

So I use that too to justify standing still

A positive turned negative, like every good thing done in moderation is suddenly tainted by becoming an obsession, where the once normal act of riding, is now riding you. 
There is such a fine line between the two
a moment where enough is not enough anymore, and where more isn't satisfying.
Carried away by your own current, like you got the ball rolling until it picked up such momentum 
that you are running for your life and you mistake the adrenaline rush from trying to stay alive for exhilaration. 

Balance comes from neither digging my heels in to stand still in stubbornness
nor from running for my life
It is somewhere in-between where my actions are not based on anyone's approval of me.

~C

Include Him

The Holy Spirit is awesome.
and hey why is it THE Holy Spirit?
It is not THE Jesus or THE God....
Hmmmm.
Anyway, I love how the Holy Spirit is right there waiting for you to acknowledge Him.
He is just hanging out, because most of the time you make Him a passenger to your life, but really
He is thinking, "Man would I love to have an adventure with her, If she would just acknowledge me,
or include me in her decisions...."
When you start to the feeling of connectedness is amazing. This whisper of a thought will give you direction, sometimes direction that seems trivial in the moment, like which errand to run first....but then when you run into an old friend and marvel at the extremely rare chance that you would have chosen to leave the house the time you did, got through traffic with no mishaps, not make any detours that would have swerved you off of that path....
It is like He is confirming, PROVING to you, He is in that, that there is no coincidence.
It gets even better when a "divine appointment" with someone includes you speaking life into them,
words you know are not from you because they just flow.
This is the stuff God is made of.
An adventure to be had, that is waiting for you, and the instant you acknowledge it,
it begins to unfold.

~C

Like You

Like You.
Can you?
What if your life depended on it? (I am being dramatic to make a point)
What if your mental life did?
See, I have this theory, that connects to the second most important scripture
"To love thy neighbor as thy self"
How can we love someone else and not first love ourselves
and you are thinking Oh, it is MUCH easier....
If I focus on others I do not have to even look at myself, maybe that is more comfortable for you...
but you are wrong
Everything we convey to others comes from a place within ourselves.
Distain and contempt are like mirrors hanging from your ears because they reflect the contempt or distain you hold against yourself
and if you cannot truly love yourself, the way God loves you
then you hold people at a distance in a mental way
there is some part of you that they may never touch
even you may not know this place because you have forbidden yourself from going there
but in NOT going there you create this superficial-looking relationship
built upon what you can control and manage
to risk, to be vulnerable, to spill your guts and be real....
this is what makes relationship great
God said to bear each others burdens
Treat each other how we would like to be treated....
and how to do you treat YOURSELF?
It is a good question
I am wondering if you are your own best friend
If I was stressed I would get a massage for me
If I was needing to relax I would draw a bath for me
If I needed some alone time with God I would make a date to walk the beach
You should know you
and be good to you

If you know yourself
If you do the work it takes to look in and let go
you will feel a burden lifted
you will seise from hiding
and the moment you step out and face who you are
and choose to love you, flaws and all
is the moment you can truly love
and give all of you
and in turn gain a true friend
in yourself,
with another.

~C

Monday, January 2

No and No

I can't
I can't , I can't
I mustn't mustn't
I shunt
I creep
I crawl
I plan my withdraw
It can't
It mustn't
I won't

~C