I will not perpetuate the pattern

Out of fear we compromise our boundaries concerning other people.
Afraid that if we stand up for what we believe in and want out of life
that there is a risk involved
that we may offend or push away
that they make not like us and leave
and so we learn to compromise ourselves
our values
we morph and change to suit others
to gain love and acceptance from them
and seise to be genuine to ourselves,
to who God designed us to be

The irony is that doing so is the opposite of love
and the opposite of who we are
it is a diluted version of who we were meant to be
just so that we can KEEP something
or someone,
when what they were attracted to in the first place
was this woman of conviction
this woman who knew what she wanted and where she was going
this woman who knew what she believed in and stood for

Your passion is what drew them
so do not throw water on your own fire
thinking that you will please someone
at a sacrifice to yourself

sure compromise is important
but it should be situational and a JOINT thing
not one person altering themselves and their needs and values
to compensate for another's

and what I am talking about is bigger than settling
It is a matter of LOSING YOU
out of FEAR
in the hopes of gaining someone else

Example:
So you get with this person
whom you've won by default
by altering yourself and your values
and then wonder why
this relationship is filled with disfunction

How long can you keep up with the facade?
How long can you deliver?

It happens slowly too
small changes first
then bigger and bigger compromises
to please and suit another
until your thoughts are mostly about them
and what they would like
and what would be best for them
you take a back seat
and in many ways
it becomes all about them

and you?
where did you go?

Who are you?
do you still know?
What do you believe in?
What makes you happy?
What do you love?
What are your hopes and standards?
What are your deal breakers?
What do YOU want to do?

Do not let fear monopolize your life
Do not fear losing anything
Give it all to God
and walk confidently knowing that
you are COVERED
you are LED
you are PURPOSED
you are PROMISED
and you were DESIGNED to be exactly who you ARE
with your gifts and struggles
and your quirks too

If you compromise any of it
you take away
you steal from yourself to give to another
and I firmly believe that God works most powerfully through us
when we can stay connected to Him
and look to Him to validate us, to accept us, to lead us

WAIT on Him and listen
Trust Him and lean on Him
He will always allow you to be who you are
and love you for it

It is predictable anyway
He wants that so much
that He will allow that other person
you tried so desperately to keep
fall away
so you can get back to you
get back to Him
and get back to you and Him

Don't waste time trying to be what people need
instead focus on being the best YOU that you can be
After all God designed you beautifully and purposefully!

~C