stuck

New chapter
of a very old story
one I do not want to keep telling
or living
to be honest
and yet I am a main character
included in the writing
in a way that entangles me until the very end
and if I could
I would write a way out
it seems easier
that I should live out a boring old alternate ending
that you wouldn't be interested in reading anyway...
but wanting out
only makes me more interesting
only develops my plight
so that you want to know why I want out even more...
such is life
this catch 22
these things that you resist
they create layers that smother
that take you deeper
to a place that you fear you are running out of breath
and like quicksand and struggling
they just don't mix

~C

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