womans intuition

I know that I know
I don't have to ask
and it makes me feel sad
as if my heart is in a cast
with stifling walls
that cause me short breaths
these limited surroundings
closing in
feels like drowning
or what I'd imagine...
my soul floundering
please heart!!
stop caring!!
let go....let go....or be dragged
kicking and screaming
or maybe I feel nothing
being carried away
to an ending
mourning
but no more crying
definitely a sort of dying
what is it going to take?
what will be my final straw?
am I waiting for something to break?
does it all require a fall?
or will it happen while I am sleeping
an awakening as I am dreaming...
a slipping away in the night
while I cradle my pillow tight?
or will it happen like I least expect it to
a band-aid ripped off
or the drop of a shoe?
or a gasp with a cry,
can I ask myself why
it is taking so long...
instead I'll ask God
"Why is it taking so long?"

~C




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