waiting to understand

You boil down my life and like chicken soup in the making the fat rises to the top and I scoop it off because it is obvious with You what needs to go and it is healthier to get rid of it right away as son as I see it how I wish life was really this obvious but it is to You you see and know things I could never know and You go before me one or two steps before me constantly making a way even if I do not acknowledge you even if I cannot see Your work until later how You made it all come together for my good, for my best no matter if I could tell that WHEN I went through that sometimes thing become the most clear the farther we get away from them we gain perspective we couldn't have had when it was right under our nose we are too close and you ask us to step back but we just think you are trying to tell us what to do we forget You are all knowing that you designed the world and then designed us we forget to default to your wisdom because we gained our "independence" long a...

Where is this place? this middle place this in between place I find myself in again This unknown pause like win lose or draw I am guessing the clues for an answer I don't know yet Scrambling together all that has happened so far thinking that will help me get my bearings But I don't know and maybe it shouldn't matter the technicalities... I know I was designed to take one step at a time I know not to judge my life on status or by my age I know not to compare myself to others or by what's all the rage So when I am sweeping the floor and feeling still 16 I don't have to worry that God won't meet me here I don't have to be in a hurry to get anywhere I can just breathe I can just remember who I am who I belong to and who I know who has my heart in His own. ~C

leftovers know how you feel they know you regard them differently you may even sneer at them not sure what they "were" at first maybe you don't recognize what they are till reheated.... either way they are expecting this they are not surprised by you and your reactions sometimes they sit so long that they really just assume they'll get tossed leftovers have really low expectations The funny thing is though they were once this grand dinner they were once savored and enjoyed they caused O oh's and Ahhh's and delight they know what that felt like too But I can tell you right now even though the leftovers "get it" they will always want to be the dinner just made they will always reminisce about how you regarded them...then and even though they know that they know that they know they are leftovers they will always need you to pretend that you just met ~C

some people think my blog is literal that what I am writing is what is happening RIGHT NOW to me but I draw from everything from everyone and sometimes I go back & revisit a time and how I felt THEN and sometimes I try to imagine what someone else might be feeling based on what THEY are going through I put their situation on like I am putting on a coat and it might as well be made of wool because I can feel how uncomfortable it is I can feel that it is too tight and constricting I can see how they would want to take it off as soon as possible... Since I was pretty young I realized the concept of working on yourself of striving to be the best ME of looking into you and seeing what was going on good and bad helpful and hindering I thought everyone had this awareness that they were seeing that they were bitter about that and maybe they should forgive and learn to let go or that they were awesome at one thing but that another had a hold over them that they could see it, but maybe the...