Written in 2017

 You need people to congratulate you on how great you are

You go around seeking their approval

their little gold stars

and you need to point out all the ways you are awesome

to prove your worth to yourself and ward off insecurity

and I guess that would be ok if that is all you did, but on top of it...


You point out the short comings of others

and try to hold them accountable for the things they say and the goals they make

when all is right in their worlds and they feel empowered

but the truth is none of us are constantly achieving our "A" game

There is usually is some form of crumbling or back sliding

and things happen every day to taint the view we created for ourselves yesterday

so we are constantly adapting and tweaking our lives and our philosophies 

to suit what is happening NOW

So technically you cannot hold me to what I said then....even a moment ago


I am morphing and changing as we speak

developing a tougher skin, or a softer underbelly

because of what happened in my mind and in my heart with what you just said to me and how you said it


you can not place me in a box for safe keeping

I cannot breathe in there

there is no sunshine or water to sustain me

The more you try to keep your thumb on me the more I dissolve and slip away

I wasnt meant to be possessed or contained


I am an organic thing that is constantly changing and shifting

physically, emotionally, chemically...

you ride the wave and love me as I am or I wash away from you and arrive on another distant shore.


-C


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