Selling a house is exhausting. You go into hyper-upkeep-mode and have to keep it immaculately maintained most of the time. Making your house look like a show house when you have a 4 and 2 year old is a bit insane. Especially when your boy has hit the messy stage, where pure entertainment comes from dumping out every container he can find, no matter what it is filled with! I am so over it all after going on 3 years on the market. I just want to live in my own home and feel that it is mine for once.
This is the third house we renovated, and we got to live in each house about 3 years, a lot of that time being that each home was in transition over that time, maybe going from the 70's retro style to modern day. The point being that you don't totally enjoy the finished product very much, because when you get to that point then it is time to sell AND even if it doesn't sell right away, you carry on in this mode like it isn't really yours to keep anyway, so there is this detached feeling about your "home". Since real estate is such a Sukey investment these days anyway I plan on embracing my next house as my own. Not too big, lots of gorgeous light flooding it, and cozy. I want to add a lot of woodwork and trim and bead board and make it a place that we can call home for once with the up-front intent of staying there.
Maybe it is what I have been through, but I am not a fan of being in transition right now, or "moving on" and "starting again" , all of it has too much similarity to what I have experienced in my personal life. I want a situation I can count on, even just a little bit. I don't want to always feel like my life is swirling about me with uncertainty. I KNOW that that IS life, but I don't want it always to FEEL like that. Let's not delude ourselves into thinking that there is a point that you reach where you are untouched by any sort of tragedy. I have learned that this just cannot be, and that is exactly why I pray. We would never grow without challenges and pains in our life, so I get it, but it is nice to slow it down and pace myself when I can.
Life is so much about change and starting again, and doing it over and better. It is so much like the seasons of life....we change that much, that often, and maybe more. I am trying to find peace with that, expecting the best while I expect that some of it will be challenging and hard too. I feel better prepared the more I embrace the reality of this life and all the ups and Downs that I know comes with it. I am ready and I am willing for the next chapter...I just pray that I can stand in the sunshine for awhile and feel the warmth on my face before the next rain comes.