Wednesday, December 29

not needing to understand

Tragic things happen
things that test our faith
things that just seem so random and heartbreaking
but instead of doubting God in these situations
we need to remember
God is the love and the hope that rushes into that situation
He is not the situation
nor did He create it
we will have to ask Him one day why He allowed it
but that is where trust comes in
we try to makes sense of everything through our human perspective
we crave justice
and yet we flirt with disaster
and above all we find it almost impossible to give up control
if it doesn't make sense, then it must not make sense
we are more comfortable with playing God
then we are with letting God be God
and trusting that He is all knowing
that His intentions are awesome
that His love for us supersedes any kind of love we could create or experience
His ways are above our ways
His thought are above our thoughts
this is a GOD of the UNIVERSE people!

we can never comprehend the dynamic going on
the intricate inner workings of a plan that began long before us
and that plan will continue on long after we leave this earth
but while we are here
my goal is to really surrender
to really trust that God has me in the palm of His hand
that He loves me like I am the only human that ever existed
and that He has enough love in Him to love us all like that and then some
till the end of time

It is ironic that my blog is called "waiting to understand"
(that may never happen until I get to heaven, and I think I can handle that)
it should be "trying to understand"
when really I want it to be "I surrender to not needing to understand"
I do not need an explanation to love
I have the choice to trust
the choice to believe
no matter what the world conveys
no matter what it shows me
It is why God asked us to set our eyes on the things above!
He knew the tragedies that have been and that will be
He knows the heartache
He knows how hard it is to process it all
all the feelings that would come to us because of them
the scars that would be made
the haunting of our minds
and so He warns us
His goal,
to protect us
now if we will just listen instead of trying to sort it out for ourselves
grasp something within the situation that feels solid
find someone to blame, or accuse
we think we know what will make us feel better
but the key to freedom and laying down the burden
is to admit that we don't know

and there is too much proof
too many clues
that encourage me to make the choice to love
and to surrender
and to trust
every day.

~C

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