rebirth by choice

I took you personally
you were mine
for a time
(even if you never really were)

and that is how I loved you
for me, no one else
no other options I wanted
nothing to escape

so to let go
to step back
has been a long time coming
like a closed hand
and prying open
one finger at a time
with resistance
and pain

too used to holding
too used to hoping
too used to fighting
and waiting
for anything
that confirmed my standing

because it is what I became accustomed to
and comfortable with
no matter how unsatisfying
or draining
or discouraging

doesn't make it right
or the fight worthwhile
but anything you believe is worth it
becomes so.

The mind,
a powerful thing

emerging from sleep on an overcast day
that tries to lull me back to sleep
but I will shake it from me
and see past the smokescreen
see things for other than what they "seem"

aware now, I take a sledge hammer
to each link of that chain
and crush the link between what was
and what is
the gift of awakening

~C