free write

We are all flawed

we will never achieve perfection

say it with me

"I will never achieve perfection"

doesn't that kind of take a load off?

(exhale deeply)

I think we all are subconsciously striving for that

hard on ourselves

picking at ourselves

IF ONLY we say

If I just had this or didn't have that

physically, materially, mentally, spiritually....

and we do it with other people too

If I could combine her compassion

with that other girls sense of style

and yet another girls awesome looks

she would be the perfect girlfriend....

but here is the thing

we are all flawed for a reason!

every one of us!

So we need to stop daydreaming of creation

we were created to be exactly who we are

the way we are

can we just try to relax in that?

Just accept ourselves

Just BE?

Why is it so hard?

God designed you for a distinct purpose

you are the hand maybe

I am the foot

yet another person is the elbow

or maybe we are each just one of the nerve endings!

our purpose is very specific

and we need each other too

we rely on each other

even if we never acknowledge each other

so to hurt someone

really is-to hurt our own selves

we don't really get that yet...

because lets face it

there are certain people that go against our grain

and it is so hard to understand their purpose

in the scheme of things

but I promise you

if YOU understood everything

there would be no use for God

We will never figure it out

and attempting to is OK if you just find it entertaining

but the moment you cross that line

the moment you think "I can do this on my own"

you hurt yourself

you isolate yourself

you shut off the water

and all your infinite resources

are out of reach

God wants to give you everything

acknowledging His power in your life

having a thankful heart

and realizing your life is a GIFT

THAT is where the real power lies

The power is in the freedom

in the letting go

in the surrender

in the trust

in the love

in the compassion

in the giving

in the moment where you stop striving!

where you give up control!

I know you feel vulnerable

I know you want to play a part

but do you want to play the part you made up for yourself

or the part God designed for you before the beginning of time?

The part he intricately planned out for your ultimate success

and to the most benefit of the lives you touch?

The beauty of all of this is that we will find our own way

in our own time

God is running after us always

and not in a harassing way

God isn't a stalker,

He will never leave you in a way you never want Him to

In the way you never wanted your husband to leave

or your family member in death

or in the way anyone leaves before you wanted them to

You have all the time that you have

to find what you need to find

and I have confidence

that you will only do what you are doing

until it does not work

The awesome thing about God is

once you find Him

you know He works

(He will show you)

so you might have to shift things around within the idea of Him

but you won't ever again have to start from scratch

you won't have to revamp your approach to life

over and over again

anymore

let go of bitterness

let go of hatred

let go of unforgiving my friend

all these things do is keep you from true freedom

they are chains that weigh too much

that weigh you down

and you CHOOSE to carry them don't you see?

Open your eyes

Open and in awareness SEE

Our free will tends to run our lives

because we think IT is our freedom

but it is a mirage

all free will will lead to

is empty choice and personal fulfillment

that leaves us aching in thirst

The real thing can only exist

when we make God our Best Friend

accept Him

and know

that He was supposed to be the one

the One we are supposed to seek acceptance from

because He will never reject us

and the One we seek significance from

because we are eternally precious to Him

and the One we seek security from

because He will be with us always

and it is only with Him that we will feel purposed

and productive

and ALIVE

truly alive

stay there

go deep

and discover

by asking Him

what you were really meant for!

~C