patience for pressure

my feelings
lost in translation

sometimes I even go blank
from the pressure
of saying something interesting
something important
it hovers over me
and I choke on it

the silence is forever now
you have had nothing to say
for years
why do I try to work with that?

why can't I just let go?
just BE
really truly surrender completely....

I have tried not to care
but I am a care bear
it is unnatural
and it isn't uncaring that I am aiming for
it is confidence
confidence in God in me
PEACE in not having to talk
or anything
and patience, with the process

every new day brings NEWNESS
I am not being redundant
I am emphasizing
you open your eyes to a brand new day
and maybe you don't even get a glimpse of yesterday
yea!

He has a portion for NOW
not then and not when....
so stay awake
so hold on
so breathe deep
the contractions of life pass too
and there will be a day
that you cannot remember
your pain
a day
filled with HOPE
your mind renewed

~C

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