Saturday, August 18

Where to God??

Old school Star Wars trash compactor scene
this is where I am
walls closing in
and the slower they compress
the faster I wish they would
because over, is better than waiting to end

We have to choose every day
choose to stay
choose to stay committed to those we love
chose to go
choose to fight
choose a great attitude
choose doom and gloom
choice after choice...

If I just focus on the choices I want to scream
I feel shaky and overwhelmed
don't want the pressure of my role
making or breaking anything
and your need for me to choose faster doesn't help

Heart breaker no matter what path I choose
and it's easier to weigh and consider other hearts than my own
easier to go in and ask what I need
to think of my own heart...is this STILL the case??!

I don't want to feel like a contestant on love connection
choosing which path will lead to greatness...to happiness
is it 1, 2 or 3.....you tell me God
You are the great all knowing One
The One who created little me
messy messy me
who keeps trying but never knows

I don't want to be handled or coerced or manipulated God
I don't want to doubt or fear or worry that what I am choosing could be the wrong thing
I want to feel with every fiber that it is all good Lord
Help me to choose and walk in confidence
to speak forth your love and your light over my life
give me a peace and a calm with every step

You pluck me out of a raging sea and place me upon a mountain top
You sooth my heart with one look, one comforting look of acceptance
You draw me in close to you and your heartbeat becomes a rhythm that sings words
that heal and stitch up my wounds...

You are my focus
You are the answer
You are the love
My love
and I am so grateful you are mine
mine all mine (sigh) and You never end

Thank you for your unending help Lord
Your gracious, patient, forgiving, truthful and gorgeous LIGHT
that SHINES through my darkness
and envelopes it completely,
totally.

~C

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