rip tide

Don't hate me for being me
for not conforming to you
you cannot say with distain that I am so predictible
and then praise me for my consistancy
you cannot love me for being laid back
but then complain that I am not a neat freak
I do not pick at you
I do not like being picked at
for me there seems to be a theme
of nothing ever being good enough
of not quite ever measuring up
and I cannot live like that
cannot see the love through your sneer
and with the same eye that glares at me
you cannot wink at me
it wrecks me
I let it
why do I do that
when I have a choice?
you run in real life
I run in my mind
reeling and searching
for a way up over and out
of the swirling rip tide
I struggle
when I should relax and kick back
ride it out
by letting go
how exactly does one do that
I want to do that

~C

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