Tears Right There

Christmastime is always bright and beautiful
twinkling lights and christmas songs...
crisp air and cozy covers
performances and snuggles
but no matter how distracted I get by the hussle and bustle
the tears, are right there

A momentary shift in thoughts comes resting upon you
all that you were
all that you made Christmas to be
and I am flooded with how big your absence is
how the specialness of you
is not surrounding me

New memories are made
even though you are gone
by lives that you made possible
just by being here before

Creating a magic that left a lasting glow
creating a love that continues to show
through the love I am able to give still
an extension of your love
a legacy that is sustained
because the roots were deep
the impression firmly made
a snowflake flurry of wonderful images of you in my brain

Christmastime will forever be bittersweet
knowing it was your favorite
and a time that you showered your love and delight on everyone
but not being able to see it in your face
or celebrate with you at the christmas party while you prepared crudite'
or hear it in your laughter as you receive the ones you love
or see it in your happy tears during a play...

You made everything meaningful
and I know I am biased because I am yours
but it is why when I dwell on this christmasy time
you always come to mind...

You are still very much here with me
and are still with me as I wrap presents
and make the house cozy for company...
all the same things you did
when you were here with me
and when I realize how much a part of Christmas you are
the tears...
they are right there.

***I will always be your Beetle, you will always be my Mama Roach
Merry Merry Christmas to you in Heaven Mama
Give Jesus a big hug from me.

~C

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