The Truth...please

don't tell me what I want to hear
even if I beg you
don't sugar coat it
I rather have the truth
too long living in a place where I created my own
I no longer want to make a bed of lies
at the cost of my youth

be real with me
I can handle it
I rather deal with it now
not later

and deliver it
knowing that I will receive it
I promise I won't return to sender
no matter the truth
it is truth that I seek
no amount of fluffing it up
will minimize the impact
it is what it is
telling me
is better

and time does not heal all wounds
time just draws it out
and dulls the pain for a moment
until you think of it again
like skinning your knee
again and again
in the same exact spot
and
I don't want to fall anymore
not in that way
again

I rather learn
and apply my learning
make something of my loss
but your truth is the key
to unlocking the pattern
the mental trigger
that will allow me to heal
in even a small way
that will allow peace

a time in my life unfinished
a time I have yet to understand
but you can help me now
for later
even though
I know
I will never fully know
all there is to know
ya know?

~C


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