The difference of a day

Isn't it amazing the difference a day can make?
Before I knew God
I was up and then down, way up, way down
now I can receive a crushing blow
and I just become quiet and contemplative.

It still hurts bad
but there is no drama
not in the worldly sense
only the weight of the truth of it
only the solid gold bar weight of that truth.

Honor goes really deep
it is a lesson I am learning as I push through life
it is amazing how huge integrity is
how elusive it can be
and how fast we can slip up

If I was an animal,
and that conveyed how I feel right now
I would be a mouse
because a mouse only makes a sound if you step on it
and my big eyes would be the only thing to convey to you my feelings
and maybe my whiskers would twitch,
or they would lie flat maybe
if I was feeling sad

If I was a mouse I would feel vulnerable
being so small
but God would draw attention to my strengths
like running fast
and slipping into small cracks to escape
and being sustained by the smallest bits of food

He would remind me that that is how He designed me
for a distinct purpose
with specific strengths and weaknesses
all of which that He can and will use for His glory
all of which He will mold and shape me with
with circumstance and experience

and he would let me know that He delighted in me
in my mousiness and all the glorious ways I added joy to His life
with my teeny weeny existence
He would remind me that no matter how small
I make an amazing difference.

~C


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