He thought about the irony how her house was full of nude paintings but how she was so shy to be naked with him exposed and uncovered unlike the paintings hanging there publicly displaying all they had for everyone to see for as long as they wanted to look 2/20/13
Wow...You spoke to my heart today about the rejection I have experienced in my life God. You showed me how it is connected to initiating things in my life...Initiating planning for things or initiating get- togethers with friends, even initiating sex. You showed me how if I do not initiate, then I cannot be turned down, and if I cannot be turned down...it will not lead to rejection. Then you took me back to being married and reminded me of the times I had initiated sex and was turned down....ouch that wounded me, and then you showed me how I took a step back, almost unconsciously and resigned to waiting until I was pursued, I told myself that the only control I had was my "yes". I became very good at saying yes, and I stopped initiating. In this way I would protect myself from rejection and I would protect my sensitive heart. I also set myself up to be content with waiting, and less prone to action....and although this waiting attribute can be a good thing like with having p...
Too much advertising and adversity too much fighting for equal rights and insanity too many rich people starving themselves because they are so empty too many combinations of lovers and families too much cynicism and sarcasm, hurting and grief survival of the fittest forces me to rise above it all but God it all weighs on me pinned down by society and their endless opinions. -C
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