a wondering rambling

Eternally waiting
for me to say what
for me to do what
what is the key
that you think will unlock it
that will trigger
or knock it
or pick it
or unearth it
will produce it
or poof!
you're waiting for something
I feel it
I peel it
a long rind
that is winding
that is swirling down
and I am finding
that the feeling is like a pregnancy
an unspoken expectation
that is haunting me
that is hovering
forever leaving messages
on answering machines
that no one is checking
that just sit there blinking
until the box is full
and that is worse
the box is full
there are no options to voice it
no more space for your questions
for your reaching out
so you keep waiting
for that poof moment
while the air hangs big and pregnant
over you like a grey cloud
and it hovers over me too
while I watch you
waiting
wanting to run
just to not feel it
or feel that grey cloud
hovering
and wanting
but never knowing
when to act

~C

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