memories that stay

I got a request recently from a friend to do a book about my Mom.

I am inspired!

I am picturing it like a small scrapbook of memories, with photos and personal accounts of how my Mom touched peoples lives. I know God will use my talents to arrange it in such a way that it will be artistic and original...honorable.
It is so amazing that this request comes just past the 12th anniversary of my Mom going to heaven....I am so touched and in awe at the impact she had on the people in her world. How she made such a distinct impression and how her influence stays and comforts people long after she left this earth.

I have a feeling that this project contains healing for me. That there is grief down deep that I haven't allowed to surface . A loss of someone who was so concrete to my fabric of being...a person I assumed would be a permanent fixture in my life....my Mom's presence.
I have described it as losing an arm. Or having the rug ripped out from under you. To lose someone that I derived so much joy from, who loved me unconditionally and cheered me on in life, someone I couldn't wait to share an achievement or and artistic idea with....

it takes getting used to, her absence, and so far I am learning that there will always be a bitter sweet edge to everything wonderful because I cannot share it with her in person or look her in the eyes and see her excitement, or hug her and feel the warmth and sincerity of her love receiving me. I am extremely blessed to have shared 24 years of my life with such an amazing person, to have learned and grown in light under her wing.
Forever touched by her life,
forever altered with her leaving.

~C

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