To get in a funk is human

I feel like I shouldn't write when I am feeling numb or discouraged.
and yet it is how I feel.
Overwhelmed with reality I feel like dodging it and avoiding it.
People are used to seeing a light in me so i feel compelled to give them light...
and yet sometimes it is so dim in here.
I feel like there is no music,
and even if I had all the instruments I couldn't play them.
Even if it was a matter of just turning on the radio I wouldn't have the energy to.
I feel weighed down and discouraged by life somedays....
like everyone is exposing something jaded in their own personal way.
Some crack in the thing I believed to be solid,
some disappointing fact that is supposed to enlighten me and make me face the truth
and yet it just makes me feel sad and empty.
As if there is nothing to count on
and bad people are capeable of being bad forever
and dealing with the same old crap will never get better....
no matter how many ways I creatively approach it.
Crap is crap even if i sculpt it into a flower...
see...
what is this funk?
and why does it come?
and where does it come from....
Get me out Lord.
Keep it away and don't allow me to go there....

~C

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