waiting to understand

Blessed Tidings Religious Christmas Card Send Christmas cards personalized with your favorite photos. View the entire collection of cards.

He stands between you and sin with an impassioned plea for you to come with Him because He sees the threat and he knows the dark contract that a life without Him holds He reminds you of His promises and beckons you once more He understands the fear he sees in your eyes and he knows all you've been through knows you've been convinced by life that you're absolutely worthless Oh the lie that steals from you His precious precious child and all He wants to do is take you from here all you have to do is take His hand... When wounded, hurt and robbed a way out seems like mocking because it couldn't possibly be true and yet that is what God is offering to you Instant protection a safe harbor for your resting a reversal of your trouble your pain slowly dissolving with one word spoken JESUS Jesus rescue me take me with you from this place this place I have suffered in for too long existing without you aimlessly tumbling around tripping in the...

Every good deed every kind word every bit of compassion and love conveyed has a voice that keeps on singing long after it has spoken ~C

For always Forever In Love and In Truth with Dignity and Integrity and Gentleness... He is all in never holding back He is not human and you needed to hear that didn't you? not like you not at all His ways much more consistent than mine His heart purified His intentions so driven that it makes mine look like a pale pale shadow on the sidewalk on a hazy winter day, barely visible He is bold and bright and beautiful and as simple as I can be, All that amazing Love of His He has for me His Love will always out do any His arms always open to hold me No bridge too long to reach me No mountain too high to separate us No way too long to find me No chasm too deep to cross This supernatural God who could cross obstacle's in an instant instead chose to climb and sweat and hurt and persevere for YOU He took the long road instead of the easy one He chose to fight and tarry because you are so worth it It is not about proving His love although He will ...

I wish I could see me like you do "beautiful" and "amazing" I know that is what God says too but the seed of doubt is planted too deep and I focus on flaws I flounder in wondering in trying to keep my confidence my peace Trying to rest in acceptance in unconditional love where God says you are a jewel no matter the race you run no matter the scars no matter how weary He wants me at my worst, my best constantly pursuing me Gods love isn't based on feelings He doesn't change His mind His goal is steadfast His love is BLIND Covered by Jesus He sees past my mind with all its confusion and non commitment past my fears and loathing past my unforgiving and my wandering He covers me and gathers me up into infinite arms and calls me His own and shakes his head at my personal scorn at my shame and my disbelief that He could find ME so breathtaking My doubting to Him is insanity My wondering just makes Him prove it more He already...

You taught me not to trust you actions betraying words promises when arrived at discovered to be abandoned a crying wolf story comes to life and now when you cry I wonder at the water I once called tears. ~C

Will there never not be tension this taught rope of unfinished business this cyclone of sucking air that does not allow anything to be still the droning roar that drowns out the words I need you to say and the debris in the air that distracts you from seeing my tears and then also a frozen place where everyone stands scared and dazed wondering at what was and could have been stuck and at the same time going through motions that look like moving on But stick me in a room with you and it all flies back in might as well be a flock of black crows squawking rushing in on a cold northern wind filling the room with high pitched cackling and mocking our attempts at making a way past or through it doesn't matter much which No matter the damage or how much I try to muddle it or reason about how there is no trust in it the road just seems to be leading back to you. ~C

The hoper wants to hope the dreamer wants to dream resisting logic and scrunching their noses up at reality avoiding despair giving things wings that do not know how to fly and even at the expense of confusing their own hearts they press on hoping & dreaming thriving in an existence hidden from most eluding even them. ~C

Cleaning tip to apply to life: "Sometimes you even have to vacuum the vacuum" Be careful of what you choose to suck up!! ~C

We are all F L A W E D you can either let that depress you or motivate you to C H A N G E ~C

Trust yourself your instincts your intuition you know the Holy Spirit speaks to your heart in a powerful whisper that was designed to protect you The Voice that teaches urges you patiently in love towards your best, even when it doesn't make "sense" that finds a way to expose everything to God's awesome light His wisdom His justice His good... all that good that He has to give to YOU... won't you listen? ~C

I like to find songs that speak to me whose lyrics heal me and then I like to pretend you dedicated the words it puts me on the path to forgiving even if all that energy starts and ends with me I know best what my heart needs and I do not hesitate to give ~C

Drawn beyond logic toward the sun where I have been burned before where I was blinded by love and now a pain induced reality has executed and replaced the dreaming side of me that side that fantasized about an ordinary life where nothing tragic happened and a family honored each other in love my deluded thinking, assuming a simple dream would not attract devastation My life is a tattered quilt each patch a beautiful section of color full of hope but slashed with time torn by people pulling their own way or leaving this earth all together why am I being left behind in too many ways? patching my quilt picking up the pieces and making something new from my broken dreams and my shattered past But new just magnifies the old and my head says one thing and my heart argues you can make anything look good dress it up but there is nothing like the natural beauty of things the raw unrealistic yearnings of your heart drawing you back into the sun where the fami...

forgive me forgive me forgive me for being a bumbling human the kind who doesn't know how to express her heart or say goodbye without screwing it up how do you stand before a beautiful wall and take a hammer to it? Tear down something you helped to build something you love...? Loving comes easily to me it is when it unravels that I don't know what to do I am more concerned with staying calm than with taking a stand or telling someone they crossed a line for me my nature to step back rather than put my hand up Sassy to me always translated as bitchy and I knew it wasn't what I wanted to be but to be assertive and up front....I know it would help but I don't know if I have it in me & that will cost me In these times where I louse it up where I let go, one ribbon at a time, in my head but I don't tell you that until the end and I run because looking you in the eyes would rip my guts out I'd look at you with frozen lips and conc...

I stand in the corner of my heart and I asses the damage from there the losses the gains and the countless fluctuations and I wonder at the scars I am amazed at it's size I am sure you can see the tears in my eyes I own my heart but I rarely go in and wonder at it but I fail to treat it like an old friend sometimes I even avoid it completely and throw caution to the wind better to chance the break than never really live.... right? Risking the condition of my own heart doesn't rattle me as much as risking yours I step forward and enter in and it is as if I expose you open your chest up and pour my love right in and love does take prisoners it will lock you right up until your filled from it or it begins to cause fractures... so at first an individual decision and then a mutual leap an investment of time and mileage of energy and so much love to regret what you take away from what we had is to deny the love that truly WAS is to say it wasn...

I'll miss you already even before you have to go even before the goodbyes are said and I've held you but you know and you say it too without saying anything at all time slows and then stops and we hang here in mid air wondering if our memories will live on for a lifetime even if we don't don't walk the future out together. ~C

Sigh Sigh Sigh cry cry cry why? why? why? Oh me, Oh my..... Bye & Bye I wish I may I wish I might go fly a kite just take a bite I don't want to fight goodnight ~C

Considerate to a fault where I bypass me to accommodate you If weighed your feelings would always have more value than mine selflessness is grand until you lose yourself in it until the blinders on the sides of your eyes keep you from being self aware Your wants your desires your interests your values they make up who you are to ignore them for the sake of loving someone is to admit that they fell in love with a chameleon someone who adapts instead of someone who IS Who am I? What do I want? What am I about? and why do I turn the music down when all I want to do is dance? ~C

Throughout most of my life I know that I know even when I don't want to know because once I do It rocks what is or shakes it up or changes it and sometimes I just want to float down the river and bask in the sun and spend my time dreaming and wondering at the beauty God's spun But He allows it to change like the seasons turn showing me that underneath it all my seams have come undone and everything I try to put together out of my own power and strength has no backing and no substance without His consequence His influence it is like building my life on sand striving and trying to do what He can do in a wave of His hand And I resist change when I can see it coming one little hint at a time and no preparing comforts the leap the going, when He asks I know that I know that I need to walk away but I stay anyway, till I can't My own ways not His best ways and I know it... it's not chance. ~C

Harder than it has to be but just how you want it you rather suffer than climb aboard the love boat or participate in, the fancy dance of crazy peeps who feast on imaginings Your mind is skewed thinking that in this world it is all or nothing but God isn't harsh not shoving you toward the light He is not deranged or vindictive He does not revel in your pain But He knows the price of the other road and He allows what causes change Change will lift the veil from your life it will open up your eyes to reveal to you more than you ever dreamed reveal the better way the way without tale told grief & sufferings Where you lay your head upon the tracks & await the train you give up hope and grumble that God created a rotten world to watch us suffer in How can He show you what He sees if you are busy rejecting Him? closing him out? The simple act of wearing shades causes your pupils to dilate you choose to put them on you choose this world aga...

I am thoughtful I am my thinking I am who God says I am I am spirit I am truth I am light I am love I am patient I am kind I am amazing I am feeling I am cherished I am purposed I am loved I am knowing I am Him He is me and together we will do everything. ~C

God is everywhere in the eyes of the passer by in the sun on the tip of your tongue as you give me wisdom in your arms when you hold me He is in the wind that washes across your face on it's way to the sea God is in you & me He searches your heart and it feels like longing He calls to your spirit and it is a sort of drawing calling you out into light holding you to something more As he turns you over in His hand and marvels at His awesome creation as you marvel back at His awesome goodness His grace His love He finds countless ways to convey His best and despite all your wonder & doubt and it all comes through, right through you. ~C

Remembering you is peaceful and paints a smile across my face Like a shadow cast by the sun your love shadows my heart born from feelings that stay with me long after you are gone a face just inches from mine now no longer and reminding myself becomes harder yet part of you is knit into me is known and loved & your shadow follows me. ~C

Stand steadfast as the person God designed you to be.  Defensiveness and boasting are born from insecurity,  and you know who you are.  Do not let bitterness attach to you,  forgive in the moment,  RIGHT THEN & hand it over to God.  The more constant your love,  the more you surrender to what God is doing in you AND in them,  the more grounded you will feel in the peace of God.  Do not provide the weapons for the fight.  Learn to walk away.  God will remind them who you really are... You do not have to prove that. ~C

Her one sided and wounded advice is sought to confirm where you are now to help you justify yourself and continue on the path you paved yourself seeking advice from each other is tainted by our upbringing by our influences both good and bad and all advice is flawed unless it checked checked against something greater someone greater who's advice was written before you were born and based upon LOVE so that guy telling you you are going the right or wrong way... who is he influenced by? in the moment is he checking his advice against God's? We are a mess A people with problems and flaws we wrestle with control we want to be right we want recognition and validation even at a great cost to ourselves we stumble around searching for fulfillment and some days we get a false sense of it through our friends not knowing where they are that day not really knowing the groaning of their hearts not knowing if their advice is coming from a grounded peaceful place or out of...

August 26th, 2012 God gave me a vision for Parker He showed Parker bending down to shackle his own ankle with a big metal lock & key with a heavy chain attached to a heavy weight The shackle was a burden that Parker was choosing to put on himself and then God showed me Jesus... Lovingly bending down to unlock the shackle with His power alone, He simply unhinged it and Parker stepped out... but Jesus was behind where Parkers foot was so he wasn't aware of Jesus, and then again Parker reached down to shackle himself... and again Jesus followed him patiently, silently unlocking the next one... The message was that in not seeing ourselves as free we choose to bind ourselves but God is on a relentless, tireless and loving pursuit to convince us otherwise to free us completely from all the shackles we choose to put on ourselves free us from all the things that hold us back His yoke is light His yoke is purposed His yoke should not be confused with the shackles ...

God gave me a vision this morning at worship... I had my hands out in front of me, palms up and God showed me a picture of how if I put my hands closer together it is how you put your hands out to be handcuffed. I was puzzled by this picture and asked God to explain... In our sin life we are literally harmful to ourselves we make decisions that hurt ourselves and others by allowing God to put us in handcuffs we are willing to submit to His authority we are trusting Him for his best An image that would usually make me cringe and feel trapped (being put in handcuffs) Just by picturing it being done to me, and yet God's analogy had a completely different spin. By fully trusting and submitting to His authority knowing He has our best interests at heart knowing He has every intention of removing us from a harmful situation all the while keeping the peace, intent on justice... we show Him we are powerless by holding our hands out, that we won't lean on our own un...

We have to get to the GUTS of it to be able to love The roots are where the answer is & you better hope it is a rock you are building on For how can we love another until we first know how to love ourselves? and how do we do that? How do we know which way to go if we do not default to the map? What greater guide than Jesus Christ? He built the land and then gave you the tools to navigate it He said the way isn't easy but the GLORY of the journey is great & the decision to go will be worth it He is in it with you for the long haul In fact, He knows you have Him in you so your success is guaranteed You were designed to do great things seeking after the heart of God purposed for a cause that you cannot even imagine the capacity of you just have to be willing and HE will be able ~C

Amazing God Your mystery is my favorite thing to behold the way you link lessons by connecting the dots for me The way you use people to love on me and draw me back in to the body and welcome me home and tell me how much I've been missed You intend for me to use my gifts and even during the times that I step back you send people to knock on my door and then you give me the words to comfort them The way you give me pictures to convey encouragement to others encouragement for myself knowing you are in tune with me showing me I hear Your voice Amazing God of mine You call me yours and I am deeply honored humbled by your patience and your grace I am here to learn to worship to listen to your heart as it beats in the most powerful way You are so intent on changing the world with Your love and I have a role to play you want me on your team and I am ready to play! ~C

Old school Star Wars trash compactor scene this is where I am walls closing in and the slower they compress the faster I wish they would because over, is better than waiting to end We have to choose every day choose to stay choose to stay committed to those we love chose to go choose to fight choose a great attitude choose doom and gloom choice after choice... If I just focus on the choices I want to scream I feel shaky and overwhelmed don't want the pressure of my role making or breaking anything and your need for me to choose faster doesn't help Heart breaker no matter what path I choose and it's easier to weigh and consider other hearts than my own easier to go in and ask what I need to think of my own heart...is this STILL the case??! I don't want to feel like a contestant on love connection choosing which path will lead to greatness...to happiness is it 1, 2 or 3.....you tell me God You are the great all knowing One The One who create...

A thousand million diamonds embedded in the asphalt I am running on and they sparkle with promise   with encouragement   A road paved with my success if I am willing to travel it by foot A road that leads to a new body, a renewed mind and no matter how steep the challenge when I am running down the other side to victory I know it is worth every step Stardust trapped in tar all that potential trapped in me emerging in the night breeze while I wish I was running with you. ~C

remembering processing hurting running growing stretching numbing tearing retching suffering wondering hoping reaching burning & rising from ashes... ~C

you just need a gun you accomplice to the crime you drove the get away car your presence, a landslide your roll in my life the backside your ninja kick to my domino's like a RESET control alt delete while I wait staring at a black screen it is easier to let you hurt me than face my unforgiveness my disappointment in my own deficit unable to dig deep anymore... Dear God take the stinger from my memory can't rewrite it but can choose what to do with it take me out subtract my part RESET mind over matter on to what matters now a reality that adds a reality that IS replacing what was. ~C

New chapter of a very old story one I do not want to keep telling or living to be honest and yet I am a main character included in the writing in a way that entangles me until the very end and if I could I would write a way out it seems easier that I should live out a boring old alternate ending that you wouldn't be interested in reading anyway... but wanting out only makes me more interesting only develops my plight so that you want to know why I want out even more... such is life this catch 22 these things that you resist they create layers that smother that take you deeper to a place that you fear you are running out of breath and like quicksand and struggling they just don't mix ~C

It always seems like a good idea but it rarely is the mood isn't right or the intention is askew or the temperature leaves you sweating, waiting for anything, but the nothing that does come infused with expectation your attention wanes wanting it so badly this dream scenario to unfold before you a stage set with all the right players but alas it does not and you stare at your feet wondering why God gave you such an awesome imagination if all the things you can imagine never intend to solidify before your eyes if all your fantasies are doomed to flourish only in your sleeping hours and lived out horizontally with eyes flashing beneath lids feeling everything but doing none of it ~C

You want the gory details don't you? you want to know the extent of the pain I endured know how many nights I cried how many miles I walked as I paced the floor...waiting...while wringing my hands Only when you know all this will my story have value If I didn't fall apart If I held my head above water If I survived it only means something, counts for something If you know I suffered Every great triumph emerges from darkness Only by fighting through a forest of adversity do we make it out into the bright vast meadow all scratched and bruised, yes but ALIVE and those wounds will heal and you will be left with a reminder in your heart that you made it that you endured Life is about learning who we are discovering how much we can take what we are made of we see who we choose to run to what we succumb to what awakens us what drives us to the edge of madness and what inspires us The more we learn, the more we know the more we can apply and the more we ...

Timing isn't everything that is just an old saying it is as random as raining the thing you cannot harness only plan to capture when you set it up just right when it falls into place aligning lining up and overlapping A window of opportunity brought about by a million different moves in the same direction over half a lifetime even 2 people propelled toward totally different goals can collide in an instant You cross over my wake and I'll give you a ride and as the water calms we'll see if you are also fine with floating with me and looking at the sky those clouds in your eyes your hand in mine ~C

Deep breath & slow deliberate steps into a fog eyes constantly adjusting seeking out some object that would ground you or remind you of what you consider home anything familiar but then you traded familiar for new.... An unexpected smile filled with promise with hope of a new chapter that regards you in a way you've never known taking you in.... a revolving door that spits you out each time better than before effecting you in all the right ways and altering the way you see Sat on my sunglasses and crushed them seemed an accident at the time but the link to understanding where I am now has shown me there was purpose in letting go of them The new ones feel fine new view through them and so comfortable that I cannot feel them perched upon my face helping me see the new seeing what could be what is and how else could that be.... unless I moved from where I was? unless I moved... finally able to. ~C

Wings clipped grew back and you can fly now you really can... technically it is a capability even if flying has become a foreign concept a forgotten notion even if it intimidates you the leap involved the risk the faith you have to muster the TRUST You will always be vulnerable after all whether you choose to try or not with feet on the ground or feet dangling in the clouds you will always have the ability to die the question is if you really want to live while you are here ALIVE ~C

Open open eyes open heart open mind to receive to see to hear what God is setting before you no longer stumbling over what you could not perceive no longer too high up and never looking down to notice to marvel to ponder the gifts of each day set at your feet A wagging tail a silent prize at your doorstep "look what I got for you"! Only God does not seek your approval He just loves to give and He will not stop no matter what you do if you can see it or if you wear blinders you can dodge you can run but He is consistent He is ruthless in His pursuit of you and in the name of love He will not stop your whole life long. ~C

gossip is so unnecessary. people will show you exactly who they are. (eventually) ~C

Native Nudies in the pool this time of your life where nakedness is innocence and freedom you are not self conscious yet or worrying about anything just pretending and open so unaware that you are vulnerable to the world but that is my job, to know that to protect you where I can to marvel at your natural ways and how they are second nature to you there is so much I can learn from you being so open and carefree and so comfy being nudie. ~C

You are a vault I want to break into I want to violate all of your locks and peer into the deep recesses of your mind see the many things you think of but never say shown in pictures so that I really understand how you truly feel because then I'd know if I should walk away or stay. ~C

He will give you enough for today and again tomorrow He breathed life into you, gave you that life and He gives that life meaning too and knowing this gives you peace and you do not worry about anything... to fear is to lose time a fish floundering on a hot dry dock that is not His best for you you are more than a fish a fisher of men a man with a purpose a purpose with a prize a prize that is forever growing in the gut of you that gives now AND later that becomes greater and greater with time through learning and growing with Him showing... connecting the dots of your life to prove to you there is a pattern that He is here with you now, for forever and the picture he paints of you evolves as it is painted like a sunset with many facets and faces His ways above our ways and His thoughts... how amazing they must be to have created you. ~C

Through a dessert of unknowing and wondering at everything while waiting for that something I'll know when I feel it like not knowing how soft a thing is until you touch it the difference that comes when viewing a face through a veil of love A face that once, was just a passer by now the dearest thing your eyes could behold... all because of the yes of your heart an acknowledgement of your soul but a decision too, to invest in another to let yourself go, to open up to willingly surrender A fond memory now to this time of stillness where I listen and watch and learn and patiently wonder when I will experience it again and how long it will be not wanting it to feel like an eternity... ~C

here but not here aware but gone too you only have part of me here with you one hand to hold and the other one searching groping for more one eye on you one eye on the door you feel it don't you? that half of me missing that side of me unsatisfied that deep part of me not knowing not knowing if it is you or me not knowing if I'd be happier anywhere but here always asking in my head if I would.... and it is the asking that steals from me from you too because I am here but I am not here and you feel that. ~C

That gnawing that feels like aching like an itch you can never quite scratch someone knocking on the door that has been nailed shut it will not be easily reopened and trying to, will jar him into acknowledgment... or so that is the plan He knew the choice he just made would blow his world apart open wide exposing every part of it like a gaping wound exposing bone there would be no more hiding no more shadows or alley ways no shades of gray to conceal his options there weren't any not any more No turning back no last look that was then and he is living in the now... hands shaking head throbbing the long drawn out painful process of adjusting to the light that some days shines too bright and singes the end of his shame and reminds him of the easy death of sin (that he could still chose to die) and yet it is exhilarating to step out of the darkness new and not tired hopeful and raw stark and fragile and no matter how flawed he is the plans for him ...

He carried lack in his pocket and took it out way too much rolling it over in his hand liking the familiar feel of it no matter how it stole from him even when it always left him wanting and impossible it was not to transfer that lack into the corners of his life and into the open spaces too rubbing it off on the people he loved those people who would also never measure up always the residue of lesser than haunting the places where things are not said but always felt always wondered but never given life or breath.... and what would be the use? For as long as lack has a cozy place in his pocket fulfillment and peace will elude him not able to share the same space. ~C

There was a time when I was the first person you wanted to tell to share your everything with where we meshed together as one couldn't tell where you ended and I had begun and now you hide now you run look me in the eyes and I come undone to see the vacant expression where love once was abound it consumes me the absence of you in a room where your body sits and spends time with me but for a moment before you move past me again and shift your eyes searching for peace anywhere but here and distracted, courted by an artificial high your heart stolen from me how can I compete? It fills the place the absence of who you were to my life a life once was so full of us and you might as well be sailing away forever bidding me goodbye like your actions do every day... ~C

My mind will not stop writing to you even when I will it to seise what to do with these spilling thoughts not shared your ears spared for a decent amount of time an outcome to be determined then... peace in knowing these future words will not fall on deaf ears when they do fall out of my mind so I write them out anyway and wait to share, these letters written in the air. ~C

Let's move to Paris to Portland to Maine Let's sweep that all under the rug better yet, let's pretend it never happened at all. The record is skipping you couldn't tell? Are you listening? Can't you see that the pattern is perpetuating? when will you learn? Not him, YOU Walk your talk hold your ground anything worth YOU is worth standing up for worth the sacrifice of waiting worth walking away from today, (today and all its confusions) Fight in prayer but get out of the ring physically your frustration isn't helping your impatience isn't helping you are going there again... Step away do not put yourself into harms way you are worth more than that You are WORTH it. ~C

I took you personally you were mine for a time (even if you never really were) and that is how I loved you for me, no one else no other options I wanted nothing to escape so to let go to step back has been a long time coming like a closed hand and prying open one finger at a time with resistance and pain too used to holding too used to hoping too used to fighting and waiting for anything that confirmed my standing because it is what I became accustomed to and comfortable with no matter how unsatisfying or draining or discouraging doesn't make it right or the fight worthwhile but anything you believe is worth it becomes so. The mind, a powerful thing emerging from sleep on an overcast day that tries to lull me back to sleep but I will shake it from me and see past the smokescreen see things for other than what they "seem" aware now, I take a sledge hammer to each link of that chain and crush the link between what was and wha...

No matter how far you run you'll always arrive back at you might as well face yourself. ~C

Oh my baby bear with imaginary flowers in your hair with smiles and grace and hope & peace With questioning eyes at those gray gray skies not understanding why every day isn't rainbows and sunshine life is crushing if you let it but in your heart of hearts the reality you've created with your heart is the honest truth The way it was meant to be way way back in history before the world gained control of itself and made a mess of it So hold fast, hold strong to all those beautiful songs that fill your life with all the right words that nourish your imaginings Better to live the dream then open your eyes to anything that will lie to you. ~C

deep in the forest no bearings and I have no breadcrumbs no flares, no spray paint, or florescent tape... nothing to declare that I was here or help me get back back... do I want to go back? and isn't "lost" a relative term? the forest knows where it is. where it stands. but do I? (no) my soul whispers but I am finding out adapting to falling darkness and rising dawn as my days are defined by the level or lack of light and finding new meanings for words, shelter comfort & hunger redefined... Am I comfortable here? How? With these blisters, these twigs in my hair? How is it that I've made a life in here? ~C

Flash moment too little, too late to make it right cannot go back again to take precautions for the first time so BURN baby burn... and what I want to know? Did you learn? ~C

These stops and starts of my heart,   The wandering and searching part,   in-between where there is seemingly no meaning,   is where I dig to know,   to find,   what is lurking in my mind... What is helpful?  What is true? I will find the answers with you.   ~C

The world Full of it and even so It will be sold and even then you will choose to resale THAT recycled lies that manipulate and blind bought and sold stolen from and closed down, down down it goes the spiral of habit of indulgence disguised as distinguished and obsession mistaken for control we call these things good and they trick us even more keep up with the Jonses and you all fall down You were meant to take your lead from the man with the crown. ~C

God is the beach washed up treasures for you to discover each day each day new treasures His blessings never ending so don't walk the streets of the city and shout your echoed cries into the buildings declaring He gives you nothing He needs you to meet Him at the beach to seek and find Him the sand is His mercy The waves are His word the shells His offering His promises in the sunsetting over the water Every color a love letter Each day a new scene different waves different shells different people different weather but always there never stopping all of it a gift for you an endless timeless gift for you open to everyone Meet Him...Find Him He is there. ~C

Feeling forgotten... when there are so many signs to point to how significant you are Seeing red... when the very thing you find offensive comes from not letting go of what is festering Waiting and waiting... when the moment is now to live,to love,to reach out & find your whole life is what was waiting to unfold Grumbling & complaining... when there is so much to be thankful for Worrying... when there is no point because it only steals from you Debating in your mind... when the truth is you have very little control Striving... when really you are perfect now, just the way you are, even doing nothing Hiding... when there is nothing more freeing than putting your cards on the table Running... when all God wants is for you to stop and take His hand and walk and talk with Him So you can begin.... Seeing Forgiving Encouraging Having compassion Comforting Giving Loving Being Living ~C

I was in a funk the other day It didn't feel like I wanted to cry but like my body did. Like I had this heavy damp coat on that I couldn't shrug off. There is insight to this too, because it was a clue to tell me my issue was literally WITH my body, and I think that is why my mind was having trouble discerning what was wrong. I laid in bed in the dark and asked God to reveal what was going on.  and then it came to me....An old wound with strings coming out of it, attached to different aspects of my life concerning the same issue. Working out-connected to a feeling of conditional love-connected to a subconscious stubbornness-connected to a false feeling of control-That makes me a stubborn mule with my hooves dug into the ground. "I am not budging....the more you want it, the more I am not going there. " is what I might as well have said. A subconscious link to acceptance-tied to rejection-tied to body weight, or image.... If love is not unconditional, it...

The Holy Spirit is awesome. and hey why is it THE Holy Spirit? It is not THE Jesus or THE God.... Hmmmm. Anyway, I love how the Holy Spirit is right there waiting for you to acknowledge Him. He is just hanging out, because most of the time you make Him a passenger to your life, but really He is thinking, "Man would I love to have an adventure with her, If she would just acknowledge me, or include me in her decisions...." When you start to the feeling of connectedness is amazing. This whisper of a thought will give you direction, sometimes direction that seems trivial in the moment, like which errand to run first....but then when you run into an old friend and marvel at the extremely rare chance that you would have chosen to leave the house the time you did, got through traffic with no mishaps, not make any detours that would have swerved you off of that path.... It is like He is confirming, PROVING to you, He is in that, that there is no coincidence. It gets even be...

Like You. Can you? What if your life depended on it? (I am being dramatic to make a point) What if your mental life did? See, I have this theory, that connects to the second most important scripture "To love thy neighbor as thy self" How can we love someone else and not first love ourselves and you are thinking Oh, it is MUCH easier.... If I focus on others I do not have to even look at myself, maybe that is more comfortable for you... but you are wrong Everything we convey to others comes from a place within ourselves. Distain and contempt are like mirrors hanging from your ears because they reflect the contempt or distain you hold against yourself and if you cannot truly love yourself, the way God loves you then you hold people at a distance in a mental way there is some part of you that they may never touch even you may not know this place because you have forbidden yourself from going there but in NOT going there you create this superficial-looking relatio...

I can't I can't , I can't I mustn't mustn't I shunt I creep I crawl I plan my withdraw It can't It mustn't I won't ~C